Michael Lee Vazquez
My Little View

The other night, while I was playing Oblivion on my PS3, I thought “Why do all my video game characters get to have all the fun?” They are running around hacking and slashing with pockets full of fresh fruits, dried meats, cheese wheels and wines. So I looked over at my book shelf and saw that the few hip flasks I’ve collected over the years are still there. Now what do I fill it with?

While I was at the store buying drinks for the rest of the family, I stumbled upon a giant bottle of cheap port. From what I remember reading in The Book of the New Sun, one of the characters warmed up a girl who came out of a lake with some sort of wine from a flask. I don’t know how traditional drinking wine from a hip flask is, but I thought it was a worth a try. Besides, I love port!

Now I’m stuck with what flask to use. I have both a 3oz and an 8oz stainless steel one. Also, two plastic 12oz ones, one rigid and the other flexible. Just to see if I can catch a taste from the flasks, I filled them all up so they can hang out a day or so. This morning put the 3oz one in my back pocket and the 8oz one in my bag. I’m a little worried that they may leak also, but so far they seem to stay sealed even in my back pocket.

You must love what’s in your hip flask warm. I was so surprised how warm the port was when I took a hit off the one in my back pocket. In fact, I think it made the port taste better from the glass I had last night! I don’t think I would be able to handle a whiskey or scotch. As much as I would love to be a whiskey drinker, I haven’t found anything I like.

After I took my swig from the 3oz flask, I put the 8oz one in my back pocket now. I can still sit in my chair but I have yet to forget it’s there. I can’t imagine carrying around the bigger plastic flasks around unless you’re trying to sneak some booze in through a metal detector or wand.

For me, port in the 8oz will do it, but I’m still on the lookout for some high octane to put in the 3oz. Anyone have any suggestions?